time apart

The first Christmas we spent together we actually spent apart. Ed and I already had plans to visit other people during that time. We exchanged gifts and kisses and wishes for safe travel and speedy return.

Before Ed left, I had something else to share with him. I started with, “This is not a gift.” The two hearts in the picture above are made of blue glass, from the same pour. They are part of each other in a sense.

The idea was for Ed to take a blue heart with him, as he carried my heart with him… and bring it back when we could be together in the way we wanted to be. The other heart stayed with me.

We have given our hearts into each other’s keeping so long ago, yet each of us must also keep and know our own heart for the relationship to stay strong and true.

Ed is a man’s man to be sure. He’s also a romantic. He kept that heart in his pocket every day for several years, pretty much until we moved into our house together. The heart lived in the same pocket as his cell phone (a tiny egg-shaped Samsung model). The heart was unchanged – the phone looked like it had been to war. I wish I had a picture of the poor beat-up phone to share here.

Now, in the golden light and warmth of summer, that winter night seems very far away. The tenderness we shared then is with us still, as are the blue hearts. The heart doesn’t live in Ed’s pocket so much anymore, but it hardly needs to, now that we get to start each day with good morning kisses and end each day holding hands.

…

If I could only have you near
To breathe a sigh or two
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
Upon this winter night with you

~from a song written by Gordon Lightfoot,
(recently recorded by Sarah McLachlan)