So, how formal is this shindig?

Clearly, the “clothes” post didn’t give enough information.

Early in our planning, we talked about what we would wear. At that point, there were two parts of the planning that were most important to me: the dress and the invitations. Of course, it all matters, it’s just that these were the parts I felt the most creatively invested in, the parts I thought would be most personally reflective.

Then, we had yet to talk about the ceremony. Now, I believe that the ceremony we create and the vows we share will be the most meaningful, tender, and memorable part of the day for us – that is the sacred part of what guides us, and the reason for all of this.

Still, I knew I wanted to wear a fabulous dress for that ceremony. After the first day of dress shopping, Ed asked how fancy he was going to have to go. I told him he could wear exactly what he wanted – it’s his wedding too and he should be comfortable (relaxed was the first word on our list).

And even though I hadn’t found it yet and I had NO idea what it would look like, (and wouldn’t for some time), I knew I was going to wear a fabulous dress. Achingly gorgeous. (In case you wondered, that was Ed’s poetic turn-of-phrase.)

I figured Ed might wear something like khakis and a white shirt, or some variation on that, maybe even linen shorts. As long as he was comfortable, I was fine with it. And we really didn’t talk much about what he would wear after that initial conversation.

Well, there was the dress to talk about.

The man has the patience of a saint – a saint I tell you.

Time passes. One Sunday afternoon, we are cuddled on the couch, enjoying the quiet of the house, my head on his shoulder, and he rumbles into the silence… “I think I’ll wear a tux.”

A tux?

Stunned and amazed just doesn’t cover it. I didn’t even know what to say. (That’s rare.) It took me a couple of days to ask him about it. Sure enough, he is going to wear a tuxedo. And I can’t wait to see him in it. As I won’t let him see the dress beforehand, I’m not to come with him when they size and fit the tux. Just on principle.

We are dressing up because it is our wedding. Getting married is significant – we want to bring a certain reverence and attention to what we are doing, and dressing carefully and consciously will help us do that.

And as always, we are thinking about the pictures of the day. We see pictures everywhere – we can’t help it, we’re photographers– and we chose the Hyatt in part because of the surrounding grounds where we will go to take our wedding pictures. We decided to dress more formally, in part for those photographs.

And we meant what we said before: Please wear what you are comfortable in, what feels appropriate to the day. And to the place – we will be in the tropics in summer.




Assuming the weather co-operates (and we hold that it will) the ceremony will be in a garden overlooking the ocean – late afternoon, in the shade. There will definitely still be heat in the day. There will be a light breeze, as mentioned before.

The reception dinner will start right around sunset, in a beach front garden. Both gardens have dense grass lawn. When we were there in December, I found that I could wear heels on the grass, but I had to be careful. For the wedding, I will wear heels part of the day, and I will go barefoot part of the day.

Hopefully, that helps you to choose, or to be comfortable with your choice. Let us know if you have any more questions. We want you free to relax and celebrate with us.